Lysistrata by Aristophanes

The women of Greece meet to devise a plan to stop their husbands from fighting the Peloponnesian War…

Lysistrata

Good day Calonice.

Calonice

Good day Lysistrata.
But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child.
What are these black looks for? It doesn’t suit you
To knit your eyebrows up glumly like that.

Lysistrata

Calonice, it’s more than I can bear,
I am hot all over with blushes for our sex.
Men say we're slippery rogues—

Calonice

And aren’t they right?

Lysistrata

Yet summoned on the most tremendous business
For deliberation, still they snuggle in bed.

Calonice

My dear, they’ll come. It’s hard for women, you know,
To get away. There’s so much to do;
Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers:
Servants to be poked out: children washed
Or soothed with lullays or fed with mouthfuls of pap.

Lysistrata

But I tell you, here’s a far more weighty object.

Calonice

What is it all about, dear Lysistrata,
That you’ve called the women hither in a troop?
What kind of an object is it?

Lysistrata

A tremendous thing!

Calonice

And long?

Lysistrata

Indeed, it may be very lengthy.

Calonice

Then why aren't they here?

Lysistrata

No man's connected with it;
If that was the case, they'd soon come fluttering along.
No, no. It concerns an object I've felt over
And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.

Calonice

It must be fine to stand such long attention.

Lysistrata

So fine it comes to this—Greece saved by Woman!

Lysistrata’s Plan

Lysistrata

Then I'll expose my mighty mystery.
O women, if we would compel the men
To bow to Peace, we must refrain—

Myrrhine

From what?
O tell us!

Lysistrata

Will you truly do it then?

Myrrhine

We will, we will, if we must die for it.

Lysistrata

We must refrain from every depth of love…
Why do you turn your backs? Where are you going?
Why do you bite your lips and shake your heads?
Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep?
Will you or won't you, or what do you mean?

The Oath

Lysistrata

To husband or lover I'll not open arms.

Calonice

To husband or lover I'll not open arms

Lysistrata

Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.

Calonice

Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
O, O, my knees are failing me, Lysistrata!

Lysistrata

But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,

Calonice

But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,

Lysistrata

Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.

Calonice

Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.

Lysistrata

If then he seizes me by dint of force,

Calonice

If then he seizes me by dint of force,

Lysistrata

I'll give him reason for a long remorse.

Calonice

I'll give him reason for a long remorse.

Lysistrata

I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,

Calonice

I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,

Lysistrata

Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.

Calonice

Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.

Lysistrata

If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.

Calonice

If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.

Lysistrata

If not, to nauseous water change this wine.

Calonice

If not, to nauseous water change this wine.

Lysistrata

Do you all swear to this?

Myrrhine

We do, we do.

(Aristophanes, Lysistrata, text from Project Gutenberg)